Paper Cut

From Gomerpedia
Jump to: navigation, search
An all-too common result of a paper cut

A paper cut is a life-threatening condition caused when a lethal weapon (paper) slices a person's skin and puts a patient at risk of exsanguination. Though sucking on, putting a Band-Aid, or having mommy kiss the afflicted finger are good interventions, it is best to head to the nearest emergency room or, better, hospice.[1] As most victims will not survive a life-ending paper cut, it is best that these patients are made DNR/DNI[2] and palliative care be involved from the get-go. In a best case scenario, a paper cut still requires amputation. As paper cuts are extremely painful, narcotics are a must for any patient.

Gomerpedia Tip

Do not present to a level VIII trauma center as a paper cut might be too complex for them to handle.[3]

Related Reading


  1. After Another Horrid Shift, Doctor Calls Palliative Care on Self, Goes Home with Hospice (Gomerblog)
  2. Medical Team Confused as Patient Made DNR Tuesdays, Thursdays, Saturdays (Gomerblog)
  3. Level VIII Trauma Center Can Only Take Care of Paper Cuts Really (Gomerblog)

Fun Stuff

Try a random entry.
Push me button.jpg
this post with your friends

Random Gomerpedia Entries

Need More Gomer?