Paper Cut

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An all-too common result of a paper cut

A paper cut is a life-threatening condition caused when a lethal weapon (paper) slices a person's skin and puts a patient at risk of exsanguination. Though sucking on, putting a Band-Aid, or having mommy kiss the afflicted finger are good interventions, it is best to head to the nearest emergency room or, better, hospice.[1] As most victims will not survive a life-ending paper cut, it is best that these patients are made DNR/DNI[2] and palliative care be involved from the get-go. In a best case scenario, a paper cut still requires amputation. As paper cuts are extremely painful, narcotics are a must for any patient.

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  1. After Another Horrid Shift, Doctor Calls Palliative Care on Self, Goes Home with Hospice (Gomerblog)
  2. Medical Team Confused as Patient Made DNR Tuesdays, Thursdays, Saturdays (Gomerblog)

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