Old as F**k Attending

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An old-as-f**k attending is any attending who immediately makes you think, "F**k, that doctor is f**king old!"[1]


The gold standard is autopsy, which may occur within minutes of meeting the old sucker. Short of that, there are several traits that are considered pathognomonic for the near-dead attending, also known as Old F**ker, M.D., Dr. Geri McFartson, or Dr. Gomer:

  1. Either is napping or dead
  2. A kyphotic spine bends old-as-f**k attending into a question mark, as if you ask, "Am I alive? Still?"
  3. Hair is whiter than white coat
  4. Heavy snoring while asleep or awake
  5. Uses the term "whippersnapper"


He's gonna keel over any... moment... now...

Related Reading


- Fart

- Gomer

- Hospicillin

- Morgue Rounds

- Whippersnapper


  1. Breaking News: Internal Medicine Attending is “Old as F**k” (Gomerblog)

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