Thyroid Storm

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The calm before the storm

Thyroid storm is considered a severe weather emergency[1], so it is essential to know what to do.


Definitions


  1. Severe thyroid storm watch - Conditions are favorable for thyroid storm so monitor conditions closely.
  2. Severe thyroid storm warning - Seek shelter immediately as a thyroid storm is imminent.


What to Do


  1. Monitor conditions on a radio and television.
  2. If you are outside and can get indoors, do so otherwise or feel the wrath of thyroid storm.
  3. If you are in the woods, stay low to the ground under small trees.
  4. If you are in an open area, stay low to the ground and find a ditch or valley.
  5. If you are in the hospital about to meet thyroid storm head on, pray and hope your stockpiles of beta blockers and thionamides are adequate.


What Not to Do


  1. Do not play Pokémon Go[2][3][4], it can wait.


Related Reading


- Fibro Storm


References


  1. Administrative Storm Andrew to Bring Six Feet of Paperwork
  2. Pokémon Go Update: Pikachu Spotted in Man's Colon
  3. Radiologist Misses Right Lower Lobe Pokémon on Chest X-Ray
  4. Pokémon Go Update: Snorlax Found Down, Intubated


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