French Fries

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Qtips' understudies

French fries are typically reserved for eating, and are a main staple of the American diet.[1] However, in the rare scenario that one's ears must be cleaned out immediately and Qtips are unavailable, French fries may be substituted.[2] For optimal results, please use the crispiest and therefore sturdiest French fry of the bunch or risk leaving residual fry in the ear and increasing the risk for hearing loss and acute otitis patata.[3]

Other Health Foods


  1. Hospital Introduces “American Diet,” Patient Satisfaction Soars (Gomerblog)
  2. ENT Excommunicated for Using Q-Tips (Gomerblog)
  3. Some thoughts on food (The Oatmeal)

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