Difference between revisions of "Toilet Paper"

Most bathrooms in the hospital, whether they're used by patients or health care professionals, are stocked with one-ply '''toilet paper''' that is easily mistaken for sandpaper or glass shards, and easily tear apart when given even the slightest tug or is exposed to a light breeze within a 15-mile radius.  It is a common misconception that the only function of '''toilet paper''' is to remove fecal debris around the anus after defecation; in addition, the role of '''toilet paper''' is to cause several microscopic [[Paper Cut|paper cuts]] that results in severe discomfort and small-volume bleeding.  For this reason, health care professionals are always begging for softer '''toilet paper''' or two-ply.<ref>[http://gomerblog.com/2017/06/2-ply-2-much/ Is 2-Ply 2-Much to Ask For?! (Gomerblog)]</ref> All of these pleas have been ignored and health care professionals' rear ends will continue to suffer into the foreseeable future.  That being said, Charmin has played a pivotal role in supplying [[July Intern|July interns]] with '''toilet paper''' as they inevitably sh*t themselves in the transition from medical student to doctor.<ref>[http://gomerblog.com/2016/07/charmin-expects-summer-profits/ Charmin Profits As July Interns Sh*t Themselves (Gomerblog)]</ref>